Title: finding my way back to myself
Tags: Sheryll_Jurado
Blog Entry: these past weeks has been so crazy. finals (praise God for passing all my classes!), arguements, trials, errors, stress, etc. it’s jus’ so overwhelming! like mad crazy! it’s so hard, then you come to a time when you ask yourself, who am i? then you compare and contrast. it’s so crazy to realize i’ve changed. changed in ways i cannot possibly imagine. i’ve turned into a person who i’m naturally not. and i’ve found my reason; to gain something you travel over time. yes, i travelled the time, yet to gain it i changed myself. it’s not who i am. i’ve learned to realize that i gained what i think is so real coz i needed to be unreal to myself. i was also getting tired of many things. feeling ignored, pretending everything’s okay, and forgetting to look at my own feelings and put others’ more important. i wanted to take a stand to that and be careless. i’m getting of all the fighting and arguing. it’s just taking a toll on me. i’m tired of crying and bending. i just needed my time and i wanted not to care and let him take of his own dose. i wanted him to feel what i feel. in fact, these past couple of days, God has been really reaching out to me and calling me back. He’s been really letting me know that i shouldn’t let anything hinder what I have with Him and that i’m slipping away coz of everything around me. i’m forgetting that i am an important child of God. that i am God’s masterpiece and i matter a lot. i’ve been putting myself last always and i need to realize that i need to guard my wholeself since i am His. sometimes i think i’m alone, but i’m really not. He’s always with me. when i think this world is sinking and everything around has lost it, i need to look for God everywhere- coz He’s always there. God is always interested in me. these past few days, i’ve been hanging out with awesome friends such as Josh and Fraser. i miss these guys! i guess i have disappointed them and let them down. since moving to feehan and running away from the stress and to my comfort zone, i forgot the people that kept me strong and by my side. they were awesome people and they still are. i also realize that i haven’t hung out with guys, just guys as in close friends in a long time. i guess i haven’t had a close guy friend/s since elementary. but it feels gud to know that no matter what was in the past, they’re still there to start where we paused our friendship. i guess i really am BLESSED with these friends. God is showing me that He cares and i’ve always had ‘em, i just needed to see and unlock them. As i’m finding my way back to myself, there are times i feel like giving up, like i’m stuck or something. I need to know that when i’m feeling that, i need to go to my source, which is God. God invites me and all of us to call unto Him so he can reach out to us. I need to exercise my prayer life coz God knows the desires of my heart but He only takes action when we ask Him through prayer and cry out to Him. To find myself, i need to find myself in Christ and really follow Him and let Him lead me; so i’m letting my heart be connected to God- the One who created me.
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